Where do I begin?
It’s been over a year since I’ve flirted with this feeling. We met in the infant stage of my darkest time of my life and it was a good distraction, a great one really. I would call upon it when I knew it was available, it’s a bit confusing but time zones do exist, and every time it would distract me from the real world.. I think the longest we’ve talked was about 2 hours and all I could do was smile and tell it how beautiful it was. Sadly that was all I could compliment it on because we’ve actually never met, shit was all new to me.
The idea of calling a feeling physically beautiful is probably confusing you, but I’m young and weird like that. I’m the asian Jaden Smith. Philosopher.
It had the best timing too! I feel like it knew what was up and would call me to truly ask me how I was. Have you ever had that? Like someone honestly ask you “How are you?”… it’s really an amazing feeling and if you’re going through some sh*t then I can almost guarantee that you will break down into tears… that or sing some corny love song knowing that your voice is horrid!
A few months go by with this great company and then BANG! Life hit me. The darkest of my time has arrived and when I needed it the most it wasn’t available. My feeling that I’ve been slowly falling for has been gone and couldn’t be reached. I know it was searching for me too, but the cave I was lost in was too dark for even this bright light to find me. For about 5 months I go on without it, of course I would occasionally think back about “us” but there was nothing I could do.
Although I am still in this cold cave, I was determined to seek this company once again hoping it would welcome me with open arms and to my surprise it did and the connection was even stronger! It was as if it moved closer to where I was.
To keep a long story short, I met this feeling… I finally got to meet it and I want to cautiously pursue to understand it so that I may compliment it beyond its “physical” appearance. I’ve been trying to describe this feeling and the best I could do is the word calm and Calm is such a wonderful name.. something I need. I hope I’m right.
Y’all probably think this was way confusing or that I’m super weird and crazy, but if you have never experienced something like this then I don’t expect you to understand me. And no, I am not on drugs.. just high on this feeling.
Below are some random photos I’ve shot this past month or so.